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Great post! On occasion, I read posts on Lex complaining about Femme/Butch. Something to do with recreating the gender binary and being something, something heteronormative. People have become so caught up with queer theory to the point that it's pointless to be gay. It becomes an exercise of reading and arguing about theory instead of dating-fucking and living life outside the internet.

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Needed this this am, thank you! 'What We're Rolling Around in Bed With" kills me each time I read it - I'm only remembering now that I read it before I was queer or kinky or making porn, but it somehow called out and was still so clear. The phrase one of them uses re: the way that their erotic desire was received as predatory/hetero/male in dyke spaces, and yet longing so deeply to share that space so having to neuter themselves from that desire - "I promise I'll only look up at the sky!" Oof. Kills me.

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